“Why Red Lips Might Be the Strongest Force on Earth”

When you think of a “bitch,” you think of red lipstick.
No arguments.
Just like a burger comes with fries and a Coke, a bitch’s lips are always painted a vivid, unapologetic red.

And yet—surprisingly—there aren’t that many movies out there that actually show a bitch leaving a kiss mark. Which is a real shame, because a single kiss mark like that could absolutely redeem and illuminate the lives of us nerds.
So, in the hope that fellow enthusiasts out there might start sharing their own finds, let me introduce one rare gem I’ve come across: National Lampoon’s Senior Trip (1995).
Featuring Tara Strong in the role of the bitch when she was 22 years old!

It’s a comedy where a bunch of rowdy teenagers end up dragging the White House into their chaos. Watching it now, I can kind of feel that post Cold War. The world was basking in a moment of carefree peace.
And in this film, the embodiment of that liberated joy is, of course, the bitch.

The story follows the main character and his classmates as they head to meet the President on a school bus.
Somewhere along that journey, things take a turn. America is vast, and the bus rolls on through the night.

The teachers are already asleep, but the youth?
Still up, still being idiots. All except her. Cool, detached, a little more grown-up than the rest, she keeps her distance.
Then, out of nowhere, she takes the sleeping teacher and gives him a full makeover—using her own makeup kit—dressing him up like a woman. Leaning in, she murmurs, “Principal, you look cute,” and plants a deep, lingering kiss on him. With those bright red lips!

Sure, he was already wearing lipstick at that point—but in the morning, you see it: the color smudged awkwardly beyond the natural line of his lips. And that smudge? That’s the mark she left behind.
The principal, of course, is the strict, serious type.
The kind of authority figure who never quite earns the respect of unruly kids like them. In this scene, he’s already been humiliated—forced into drag and made to explain the bus’s reckless antics to the police.
But if anyone realized that those smeared red lips were the trace of the bitch's kiss… there wouldn’t be a single man on Earth who could claim victory over him.

A beautiful bitch’s kiss has the power to save an otherwise forgettable man—to elevate him beyond even a Super Saiyan. Even if he’s been humiliated, dressed up against his will—if he bears the mark of her kiss, then, in that moment, he becomes the strongest man alive. Because a beautiful bitch with red lips is, ultimately, the one who governs joy on the Earth.