Old age and its signs

You notice that you are growing more hair overall but not on your head.
While lying in your bed, you experience injuries.
The fine print is difficult to read with your short arm.
When you enter a space, you ask yourself, "Now why did I come in here?"

You just converse on and send SMS on your mobile device.
You don't dress in athletic attire only to go for a walk.
You order takeout over the phone and pick up your own order.
Your children must assist you in setting up the new HD recorder.

You frequently use ATMs so that you have access to cash.
You go to the beach, but all you do is stroll down the sand.
You check the parking situation before going anywhere new.
The oldies station now plays music from your generation.

One-handed text entry is done solely using the index finger.
It would be difficult to name a top ten song or performer.
You would prefer watch TV than go out at night.
A long-gone memory is sitting on the floor with my legs crossed.

You still receive paper bills because you don't trust direct debit.
Maintaining a list of all your medications is becoming more difficult.
You frequently forget your passwords, so you're down to only one.
You're shocked to see how young your surgeon appears.

Though your waistband is sitting higher, most things are dropping lower.
Your finger gets tired as you scroll to the year of your birth.
You no longer have the confidence to use a ladder.
Your nighttime is largely devoted to voiding your bladder.

You can't help but nod off during movies, so you miss the ending.
Which is more difficult, bending down or straightening up?
The actors in TV shows all mumble, making them difficult to follow.
When you trip or fall, your buddies no longer make fun of you.

You no longer squeeze zits; instead, you pull out stray hairs.
You now find loud music annoying, but your television is still on.
You start making declarations such, "It will outlast me!"
Your physician advises that you get a colonoscopy.

No matter how many of these symptoms you have, keeping a good sense of humor will get you through.
Life need not be so depressing; laughter is the best cure.
Just be careful not to lau
gh too loudly lest you spill a little bit!