25 Sept 2022
Conflict can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash.

Sometimes conflict can occur when people misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusion. Issues of conflict that are not resolved peacefully can lead to arguments and resentment. 

Conflict is one of the pathways to deeper intimacy in any human relationship.

For a lot of adults, the reverse is the case.
As they walk on eggshells, holding their breath, shutting down, shrinking, chewing resentment or passively aggressive.

As always this trauma imprint builds up during nurturing. 

If a child is raised in a home where conflict leads to pain, or withdrawal of affection and attention.. 

The child learns to dissociate or walk away from any experience or interaction that can lead to conflict. 

Because to the child's conditioning, conflict is equal to pain. 

The child learns to contorts his/her feelings to fit into that toxic or abusive dynamic.

Two outcomes results from this nurturing practice.. 

1. The child becomes an adult that lacks the skill to communicate their feelings or perspective. 

They are so accustomed to their trauma wounds, that avoidance or dissociation becomes their adaptive mechanism.
2. They attract partners that feeds on their avoidance of conflict. 

And they co-create a toxic relationship that mirrors how they're raised. 


And the children are ALWAYS at the receiving end of the transferred aggression. 

And you can break that circle for your children. 

Evaluate your triggers to conflict.

Re-engineer your trauma response. 

Re-parent yourself and those who take advantage of your trauma wounds. 

Model healthy conflict resolution for your children. 

Heal, heal, and heal. 

I hope you get the help you seek. 


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