You're in a Conflict, Now What?

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19 Jul 2022
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Photo by freedomz


Conflict is a natural part of life. It's what helps us learn and grow. But sometimes, conflict can be destructive. It can lead to wars, violence, and injury.

It can also cause problems at home and work. Conflict can be a difficult thing to deal with, but it's important to remember that it's normal and healthy.

Conflicts can be very stressful and difficult experiences. Knowing what to do or where to turn for help can be tough when you're in one.

This article will provide some advice on dealing with conflicts with friends, family, or partners.

Definition of Conflict

Conflict is a process that begins with the emergence of differences between people. These differences can be personal or professional and involve anything from opinions and beliefs to goals and objectives.

As these differences come to light, tension and hostility may develop, leading to conflict.

Understanding Conflict - Meaning and Phases of Conflict


Conflict can arise in any relationship, whether it be between family members, friends, co-workers, or even strangers. But, the very presence of difference often leads to conflict.

While conflict can often be unpleasant and uncomfortable, it can also be a powerful tool for growth and change.

Conflict can help individuals and groups learn more about themselves and each other when managed effectively. It can also lead to the development of new ideas and solutions.

Different Types of Conflicts

Conflict is a very normal and often healthy part of life. It can arise from different sources, such as disagreements among family members, friends, or co-workers.

Conflicts can also develop from competing interests or differing opinions on important matters.

In some cases, conflict may result from unresolved anger or resentment. There are different types of disputes that can occur.

  • Interpersonal conflicts are the most common, involving disputes between two or more people. Intrapersonal conflicts are struggles within an individual's mind and emotions.


  • Intergroup conflicts involve tensions and disputes between groups of people, such as races, religions, or social classes. International conflicts involve hostilities between countries or nations.


Most conflicts can be resolved through open communication and negotiation. However, in some cases, they may escalate to violence.

The Four Steps: How to Respond to a Conflict?

To effectively handle a conflict, it's important to understand and follow the four steps:

1. Acknowledge the conflict: This means recognizing that there is a problem and that both parties have a role in it. Ignoring the issue will only make it worse.

2. Discuss the conflict: Talk openly and honestly with the other person about what is happening. This step requires both patience and compromise.

3. Come to a resolution: This can be difficult, but finding a solution that satisfies both parties is important.

4. Follow through with the resolution: You must stay committed to the process even when things get tough. It would help if you also were patient and willing to compromise.

Ending a conflict is often just as difficult as managing it during its peak. It's important to remember that there are usually no winners or losers in a conflict and that both sides have likely suffered losses.

What NOT to do in a Conflict

You can do some things to make sure that these conflicts don't spiral out of control. Here are three things to avoid in a conflict:

1. Don't ignore the problem: If there's an issue between you and someone else, it's important to address it head-on. Ignoring the problem will only make it worse in the long run.

2. Don't attack the person: When you're in the heat of a conflict, it can be easy to lash out at the other person. But this strategy rarely leads to a productive resolution. So instead, try to stay calm and constructive when communicating with the other person.

3. Don't use threats or ultimatums: Threats or ultimatums should never be used in a conflict. They can only make the situation worse. Threats are usually empty and do not solve anything.

They create tension and resentment. Ultimatums also usually don't work because the other person may not want to comply, or they may be unable to meet the demands.

This can lead to more conflict and frustration. Generally, it's best to avoid using threats or ultimatums to resolve a conflict.

Conflict arises from differences. If you want to avoid conflict or resolve one that's arisen, it helps to understand the different ways people can react and what not to do.


When people feel they're not being heard, they can become defensive. So, the first rule is to listen more than you talk. Be present in the conversation and try to understand the other person's point of view.

Resolving Conflicts: The Ways To Do It

In any relationship, big or small, there will be times of conflict. However, how we handle those conflicts determines the strength and longevity of our relationships.

There are many ways to deal with conflict, but here are the four most common: avoidance, accommodation, compromise, and assertion.

  • Avoidance is when one person tries to ignore or avoid the conflict altogether. This often leads to resentment and frustration on both sides and can damage the relationship.


  • Accommodation is when one person gives in to the other person's demands, even if they don't agree with them. This can lead to feelings of being taken advantage of and can also damage the relationship.


  • Compromise is when both people meet in the middle and find a solution they can live with. This is often the best option because it makes both people feel like they've won something.


  • Assertion is when a clear statement of what you want or need. Therefore, assertiveness is essential to get your point across and resolve the conflict. Being proactive also shows that you respect yourself and others.


Ending a Conflict: What works and What doesn't?

Ending a conflict is often easier said than done. However, there are a few things that work well when ending a conflict and a few things that don't.

What works well when ending a conflict is taking the time to listen to the other person. This can help build understanding and show that you're listening to their point of view.

Conflict Resolution Mistakes to Avoid - Verywell Mind


Another thing that can help is apologizing for any wrongs you may have done during the conflict. This can help mend any damage done and start to rebuild the relationship.

What doesn't work well when ending a conflict is trying to win. This often leads to one person trying to overpower the other, which can further damage the relationship.

Another thing that doesn't work well is forcing an agreement.

Final Thought

Conflict is necessary for both personal and professional growth. It can help us learn new things, resolve disagreements, and become better versions of ourselves. While it can be uncomfortable and stressful, we should embrace conflict as a means to learn and grow.

Whether with friends, family, or co-workers, we will all experience conflict. When resolving disputes effectively, we can learn new things about ourselves and the people around us.

We can also resolve disagreements in a way that leads to a better understanding between everyone involved.

Most importantly, conflict can help us become better versions of ourselves by teaching us how to handle difficult situations with grace and maturity.

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