Seraph vs. Imposter Syndrome

16 Mar 2023

Seraph feels like a fraud. She sits at her desk staring at the computer screen, her eyes darting back and forth across the screen like a ping-pong ball in a championship match. Her fingers rest on the keyboard, unmoving, as she struggles to come up with something to write. 

She knows what she wants to say, but she can't seem to find the right words. Doubt creeps into her mind, and she begins to wonder if she's good enough to do this. Despite the success she's achieved, the compliments she's received, and the hours of hard work she's put in, she can't shake this feeling.

She sighs and leans back in her chair, feeling defeated. "What am I even doing?" she mutters to herself. "I'm not a real writer. I'm just faking it."

She remembers when she first got her job as a content writer. She was over the moon, excited to finally be able to write for a living. But as time went on, she started to doubt herself. She would read other writers' work and compare it to her own, and she always felt like hers fell short. Did her client just give her a compliment? It must be a trap.

Imposter syndrome is a real thing, and Seraph has been struggling with it for as long as she can remember. It’s like a pesky fly buzzing around her head. She swats at it, but it just keeps coming back, taunting her with thoughts. Seraph has always been a high achiever. She's aced every test, and excelled in every field she's pursued. But despite all her accomplishments, she's always felt like she's just winging it, like she doesn't really know what she's doing. 

She'd spend hours poring over her work, picking apart every sentence and every word. And even when her clients were happy with the final product, she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd somehow pulled the wool over their eyes.

She reads over the few sentences she's managed to type, and she cringes. They're not terrible, but they're not great either. They're just... average. And that's the problem. Seraph doesn't want to be average. She wants to be great. She wants to write something that will make people sit up and take notice. Her eyes scan over the words she's typed for the umpteenth time, checking for mistakes like a forensic investigator hunting for clues.

But how can she do that when she's constantly doubting herself? When every time she puts fingers to keyboard, she wonders if she's just wasting her time.

Seraph takes a deep breath and tries to shake off the negative thoughts. She takes a deep breath and reminds herself that she's not alone in this feeling. She remembers the countless articles she's read about imposter syndrome and how it's more common than a Kardashian selfie, especially among women. She's worked hard to get where she is, and she's good at what she does. She just needs to trust in herself and her abilities. 

Easier said than done, of course. But Seraph is determined to try. She opens a new document and begins to type. The words come slowly at first, but then they start to flow. Before she knows it, she's written a whole paragraph. And it's not bad. In fact, it's pretty good. 

Seraph smiles to herself, feeling a glimmer of confidence. Maybe she can do this after all. Maybe she's not such a fraud. She finds herself laughing at her own jokes, admiring her own turns of phrase, and feeling proud of what she's accomplished. For the first time in a long time, she's enjoying the process of writing, rather than stressing out about the end result.

But of course, the doubts come creeping back in. What if this is just a fluke? What if she can't keep it up?

Seraph takes another deep breath and tries to push those thoughts aside. She reminds herself that everyone feels this way sometimes. Even the most successful people have moments of self-doubt. It's natural. 

But it's also important to remember that success doesn't come from never doubting yourself. It comes from pushing through those doubts and believing in yourself anyway. It's about taking risks and putting yourself out there, even when it's scary.

Seraph knows this, and she's determined to keep trying. She's not sure where this writing journey will take her, but she's excited to find out. She knows there will be bumps along the way, and moments of self-doubt, but she's ready to face them head-on.

At the end of the day, Seraph knows that the only way to truly fail is to give up. And she's not ready to do that just yet. She's going to keep writing, keep pushing herself, and keep trusting in her own abilities.

Who knows what the future holds for Seraph? Maybe she'll become a bestselling author. Maybe she'll just write for herself, and that will be enough. Maybe someday she'll look back and realize she was never a fraud to begin with. But whatever happens, Seraph is excited to find out. She knows that she's a writer, and that she's capable of great things. Because she's finally starting to believe in herself, imposter syndrome be damned.

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