Shame

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3 Jan 2023
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Shame is defined as a sense of embarrassment or humiliation caused by the perception of doing something dishonorable, immoral, or improper. People who are ashamed usually try to conceal the source of their shame. Chronic shame can include the belief that you are fundamentally flawed. Shame can be difficult to recognize in oneself.
While shame is a negative emotion, its origins are important to our species' survival. We may not feel the need to adhere to cultural norms, follow laws, or behave in a way that allows us to exist as social beings if we are not ashamed.

When Does Shame Become Dangerous?
When shame becomes internalized, it can lead to an overly harsh evaluation of oneself as a whole person. This inner critic may tell you that you are a bad person, worthless, or have no value. The truth is that your level of shame has little to do with your worth or what you have done wrong.

Embarrassment, humiliation, and guilt are other common concepts that overlap with shame. However, these various terms have nuances in meaning that are important to understand in order to better understand shame.

Symptoms of shame

  • Feeling sensitive or concerned about what other people think of you
  • Feeling unappreciated, used, or taken advantage of by others
  • Feeling rejected, remorseful, inadequate, or as if you have little influence?
  • Uncontrollable blushing, or fear of appearing inappropriate or stupid
  • Concerned that you are not being treated with respect, or wishing to have the final say
  • Feeling unable to be your true self, losing your identity, or refraining from sharing your thoughts or feelings for fear of being embarrassed


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