Stop Trying to Control Everything

19 May 2022

Photo by AndreyPopov

Our instinct is to control our environment and the people in it. We want to be in charge, we want to know what's going on, and we want to be able to predict the future. This desire for control can be helpful in certain situations, but it can also be destructive.

Often, our need for control causes us to interfere with other people's lives and make decisions for them. We may think we know what's best for them, but this type of interference often does more harm than good. It can prevent people from developing their strengths and abilities and damage relationships.

To have healthy relationships and lead productive lives, we sometimes need to learn to let go of control. Instead, we need to trust that others will make good decisions and that things will work out okay even if we don't have total control.

You Can't Control All

It's a common misconception that if we only try hard enough, we can control everything that happens in our lives.

Whether it's our relationships, work, or team, we often think that everything will go according to plan if we just put in the extra effort.

7 Quotes to Stop You from Worrying About Things You Can't Control

Unfortunately, this isn't always the case. We can't always control what happens around us, and trying to do so can lead to more frustration and stress.

While it's important to be proactive and take charge of our lives where we can, it's also important to accept that there are some things we can't change.

We are recognizing when we're trying to control something that we ultimately can't is the first step on the road to peace of mind.

The illusion of control

We often fall into the trap of thinking that we have more control over our lives than we do. So, for example, we may try to manipulate the other person into doing what we want in our relationships.

We may attempt to micro-manage every detail at work to ensure that everything goes according to plan. And in team sports, we may try to take charge and be the ones calling the shots.

What Is the Illusion of Control? -

But in reality, life is not under our control. Our relationships will go their own way, our work will never be perfect, and our team will never do exactly what we want them to.

The sooner we accept this, the less stressed out and frustrated we will be. The illusion of control can also lead us to make poor decisions.

The Consequences of Control

Control is a powerful tool. It can give people the life they want and make things happen the way they want. However, there are consequences to control. Control can ruin relationships, work, and teams.

When someone is in control, they often think that their way is the only way. This can lead to conflict with others who have different opinions. In a relationship, this can lead to fights and tension.

If one person is always in control, it can be difficult for the other person to feel like they have a voice.

A controlling attitude can make it difficult for people to cooperate at work. For example, people may feel like they cannot share their ideas or suggestions because the boss will not approve of them. This type of environment can be stifling and lead to low morale.

Don't Control What you Can't

To have a successful life, you need to be in control of what you can. Trying to control things out of your reach will only lead to frustration and unhappiness. This is especially true in relationships, work, and team environments.

In relationships, it's essential to be with someone who makes you happy, not someone you're trying to control.

20 Things You Can't Control and How To Let Them go

If you're always trying to make your partner do what you want them to do, they'll eventually resent you, and the relationship will fall apart. So instead, it's better to find someone who shares the same values and wants the same things.

At work, it's important to let go of things that are out of your control. There are always going to be tasks that are outside of your skillset or knowledge base.

Don't Control Others

When it comes to our lives, we often think that the more control we have, the better. But is that true? In our relationships, work, and team sports, trying to control others usually backfires.

Think about a time when you tried to control someone, and it didn't go well. Maybe your partner didn't do what you wanted them to do, or your teammate made a mistake that cost the game.

When we try to control others, it creates tension and animosity. We're not happy because they're not doing what we want them to do, and they're not happy because we're constantly telling them what to do.

It's much better to let go of control and focus on ourselves. We can't change others, but we can change how we react to them.

Control your own emotions

We cannot control the emotions of others, but we can control our own. When we can control our feelings, we have a better life, better relationships, and are more productive at work.

Our emotions affect not only ourselves but also everyone around us. Therefore, it is crucial to be aware of our emotional states and to put effort into managing them.

How to Control Your Emotions: 11 Strategies to Try - Healthline

There are many ways to manage our emotions. First, we can practice self-awareness by monitoring our thoughts and feelings throughout the day.

We can also practice mindfulness, which is being in the present moment and paying attention to what is happening.

Finally, we can learn to deal with difficult emotions by using coping skills such as problem-solving or relaxation techniques.

Managing our emotions takes effort, but it is worth it. When we can control our feelings, we feel happier and more content.

Let go of the Past

When it comes to our personal lives, we often find it difficult to let go of the Past. So instead, we cling to our memories, good and evil, as if they're a security blanket.

And while it's essential to learn from our past experiences, holding on too tightly can keep us from living in the present.

How to Let Go of the Past | Psychology Today

The same is true when it comes to our work lives and relationships. If we're constantly worried about what happened yesterday or last week, we're not going to be very effective today.

To be successful, we need to be able to focus on the present and put our energy into what's happening right now.

That doesn't mean that we should forget about the Past entirely. On the contrary, there are lessons to learn from good and bad experiences, but dwelling on them won't do us any good.

Final Thought

In this life, you will learn that there are some things you can't control. So you will have to learn to let go of the things you can't change and focus on the things you can. This is especially important for relationships, work, and teams.

You will learn that you cannot control everything around you in life. People will disappoint you, things will go wrong, and your best efforts may not be reasonable enough.

This can be hard to accept, but it is a fact of life. Instead of struggling against what you cannot control, focus on what you can do something about.

Make the most of every opportunity, work hard towards your goals, and be there for the people who matter to you. Then, when bad things happen, try to find the lesson or silver lining.

Everything happens for a reason, and in time you will come to understand why. Until then, keep your head up and carry on.

Follow me on X @MiguelNorberto_

Follow Me

Enjoy this blog? Subscribe to Miguel


No comments yet.
Most relevant comments are displayed, so some may have been filtered out.