21 May 2022

Expectations. Is it healthy to have expectations in a relationship? Or do they set us up for disappointment and strife? Many think expectations are acceptable - even agreed upon when we commit and say "I do."
However, it's been my experience that it is far better to assume nothing and presume innocence when our expectations get trampled by unexpected changes. No matter how much you plan, reality will nearly always be different.

Are Expectations Good for a Relationship?

Let's first clarify the terminology. The dictionary says that expectation is the act of looking forward to or anticipating; the degree of probability that something will occur. Naturally, we anticipate what's coming in life.
However, change is also inevitable. The change can be as simple as your partner's "expected" arrival time home after work. There may be a high probability that your partner gets home by 6 p.m. Still, many things can prevent that outcome, such as road construction, heavy traffic, or a longer-than-anticipated conversation with a co-worker.
For instance, I texted my husband on Friday that I was leaving the office to come home. Right after I texted, I received an important phone call from a client that delayed my departure. Oh... and then, I also decided to swing into Albertsons to pick up a few grocery items since I was driving right by.
At any given moment, things can dramatically change. Change is the only constant. So, how can couples successfully navigate relationship ups and downs while holding tight to the values of love, respect, and kindness?

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