Habits of Highly Effective People
Personal independence does not mean true success and consummation, life still needs to pursue success in the public sphere. However, the interdependence of the group presupposes the true independence of the individual, and it is impossible to achieve a super-shortcut.
Before that, we must first understand what is the nature of interpersonal relationships?
Some people spend a lot of energy researching "interpersonal relationships" and learning various skills for accumulating connections, but in fact, the so-called connections are exchanged with equal value, and they cannot be obtained simply by obedience and clinging.
In interpersonal communication, the most important thing is emotion, and the so-called emotional account stores the "trust" that is indispensable to enhance interpersonal relationships, that is, the sense of security that others get along with you, and what can increase the deposit in the emotional account is politeness , honesty, kindness and credit.
There can be no friendship without trust, and no trust without honesty. — Samuel Johnson
The foundation of good relationships is self-control and self-knowledge. Before loving someone, you must first love yourself, understand yourself, know how to measure, truly love yourself, and build good relationships with others.
The six main investment methods of emotional accounts: understanding others, paying attention to small details, keeping promises, clarifying expectations, being honest and honest, and being brave to apologize.
The premise of interpersonal communication is self-cultivation.
Habit : Think Win-Win—Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
The golden rule is embedded in our minds, and now is the time to live up to it. — Edwin Markham
Whether you are the president or the gatekeeper, as long as you have transitioned from independence to interdependence, you begin to play a leadership role and influence others, and the habit that helps achieve effective interpersonal leadership is win-win thinking.
A win-win situation enables both parties to learn from each other, influence each other and seek common interests. To achieve the realm of mutual benefit, one must have enough courage and a mind to be kind to others, especially when dealing with those who are self-interested. Cultivating this aspect of self-cultivation requires extraordinary insights, a proactive spirit, and is based on a sense of security, life direction, wisdom, and strength.
The principle of win-win is the basis of all interpersonal communication, including 5 independent aspects: "win-win morality" is the foundation, and then a "win-win relationship" is established, from which a "win-win agreement" is derived, which requires a "win-win system" as a nurturing environment. It is done through a "win-win process" because we cannot use win/win or win/lose to achieve win-win.
Habit : Know Your Enemy and Understand Yourself——Principles of Empathic Communication
The spiritual world has its own reason, which is beyond the reach of reason. — Pascal (French philosopher, mathematician and physicist)
Many times, we like to jump to conclusions in a hurry and solve problems quickly with well-intentioned suggestions. Reluctance to spend time diagnosing and digging into the crux of the problem. If I had to sum up in one sentence the most important principle in human relationships, it would be to know the enemy and understand ourselves, which is the key to effective interpersonal communication.
Have you really understood what the other party is asking for? Are you listening carefully? "Knowing the enemy" is a big change in the mode of communication, because we usually put other people's understanding of ourselves first. Most people listen not to really understand each other, but to respond. Such a person is either speaking or preparing to speak, constantly filtering everything with his own model, and using his own experience to understand the lives of others.
If there is a problem communicating with a son, daughter, spouse, or employee, their response is usually, "He just doesn't understand me."
In addition to material, the greatest survival needs of human beings come from psychology, that is, to be understood, affirmed, recognized and appreciated by others.
Listening, both active and responsive, is a skill that is inherently egocentric. The behavior is not revealed, the motive is self-evident. The purpose of responsive listening skills is nothing more than to respond and manipulate the other person.
Really advanced listening is empathetic listening, that is, listening for the purpose of understanding. The listener is required to understand their thinking patterns and feelings from the perspective of the speaker. The essence of empathetic listening is not to agree with the other party, but to fully and deeply understand the other party emotionally and intellectually.
Habit : Synergy—the principle of creative collaboration
Synergy is the most advanced of all human activities, and it is the true test and concentrated expression of all other habits. Only with the four unique talents of human beings, supplemented by win-win motivation and passionate communication can the highest level of synergy be achieved realm. Synergy can not only create miracles, but also stimulate the greatest potential of human beings, even in the face of the greatest challenges in life.
