Danfo Conductor Turned Relationship Counsellor
It was 7am. Lagos traffic at Ojota was holding everybody hostage. Sweat was doing conference on people’s faces.
One danfo conductor, Baba Ibeji, was shouting “Oshodi! Oshodi! One man one seat!” when a couple entered fighting.
Girl: “You said you’d marry me!”
Guy: “Baby, wait for my promotion now.”
The whole bus went quiet. Even the driver turned down the music.
Baba Ibeji wiped his face with handkerchief, dropped his “change” plate, and said “Ehn ehn, make una park.”
He climbed to the back, stood between them like a pastor and said:
“My sister, if he loves you, promotion or no promotion, he’ll put ring on it.
My brother, if you love her, why are you using ‘promotion’ as ATM? Danfo doesn’t wait for promotion. It moves with what it has.”
The whole bus burst into “Eeeehn! Preach it conductor!” Someone started clapping. Aunty at the front said “Baba, abeg collect offering.”
Guy got shy, brought out 200 naira and said “For your wisdom, Oga.” Baba Ibeji collected it, put it in his plate and said “This is consultation fee. Next one is 500 naira.”
They reached Oshodi and the couple was still sitting down, holding hands. Problem solved. Traffic still there, but peace had entered the bus.
*Moral: In Lagos, your relationship advice might come from the last person you expect. Even conductors have PhD in “Wahala Management”.* 😂🚌
