NEPA Took The Whole Wedding

Chinedu was getting married in Surulere. Big day. Generator rented, DJ booked, jollof already cooking.

Just as the pastor said “You may kiss the bride”, NEPA did their thing. _Kpoom_. Total darkness.

The hall went silent. Then one aunty shouted “Up NEPA!” from the back. Another aunty replied “Take light!” It became a call-and-response concert.

Chinedu’s generator man, Baba T, had “gone to buy fuel” since 2pm. His phone was ringing but nobody was picking. The DJ started playing “Nobody Holy” acapella to calm people.

Bride’s face was sweating. Makeup melting. Groom was fanning her with the marriage certificate.

Then the small boy that sells pure water outside entered with a torchlight. He stood at the altar and said, “Uncle, auntie, I’ll hold light for you. 500 naira only.”

Desperate times. Chinedu paid. The boy held torchlight while they kissed. Flashes from guest phones became the new chandelier.

Later, NEPA returned and overcompensated. Light came so bright the fridge started singing. The ice cream that melted earlier froze again.

At reception, people weren’t talking about the wedding dress. They were saying, “That torchlight kiss was the most romantic part.”

*Moral: In Lagos, if NEPA doesn’t shake your event, was it even a Lagos event?* 😂⚡