You were needed

I needed you to lift my spirits while I was down and miserable.
Instead, I drank till I was completely devoid of feeling.

I wanted you to stand up for me and protect me when everyone else was trying to tear me down and make me feel so bad.
Instead, I had to put up with all the insults and abuse that the world could muster.

You were the only friend I had left when I lost all of my pals and had no one.
I actually learned what the term "friendless" meant.

I needed you to be my security blanket when I was worried and frightened.
I was forced to live in fear instead.

I needed you to calm me down when I was furious and enraged.
Instead, I bottled it all inside.

I needed you to embrace me tightly and never let go when I was feeling so lonely and needed someone to care.
Instead, I had no one to turn to as I grew up alone.

I wanted you to come running with your ways of healing when I was damaged and in pain.
I was still battered and disfigured, though.

I needed you to intervene and reassure me of my importance whenever I would torture myself in an attempt to end my life.
Instead, I concealed my wounds and lost awareness of everyone.

I needed you to dry my tears when I would weep myself to sleep at night.
Instead, I gripped my pillow tightly as I sobbed uncontrollably.

I needed you to be the one I turned to when my entire world was crumbling around me.
Instead, I secluded myself in my room and gave up completely.

I needed you to express your love for me when I didn't feel it.
Instead, I discovered that saying "I
love you" had no real meaning.