17 Jul 2022

My mouth is pregnant with tons of words.
And not finding anyone to talk to hurts

Loneliness became the ocean I was drowning in.
Loneliness was the sound of music surrounding me.

Sometimes I felt its stench filling up the room.
Countless nights, it kept me staring at the moon.

I could hear it whisper "suicide" in my ears. Breathing became a threat and living, one of my greatest fears

Loneliness got me paranoid.
Inculcated me with habits I couldn't avoid.

I couldn't blend in with the crowd because of discrimination.
Was I created this way or did I deserve this condemnation?

I was a free man yet its loyal prisoner.
A gun in sight, this suicide thoughts has been seasonal

What will happen if I end everything with the gun?
Will I be forgiven for my actions when I'm gone?

I've seen similar suicidal cases on socials and on the Press
That leaves me with the question "Am I lonely or just depressed?"

Jude Umoren, 'lonely' (online, 2019) <https://judeumoren.blogspot.com/2019/09/lonely.html?m=1>.

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Months later I still came back because I'm still lonely
How can someone make me feel loneliness this much by just reading what they wrote on the said topic?. How do you people get such talents?
I still ask myself this question, "am I lonely or just depressed?"
I don't think there's a better way to end this poem like the last two lines. It leaves me the reader questioned and busy thinking of answers that may not come