How Governments Can Play the Best Bitcoin Pump and Dump Game

15 Apr 2024

Well this one is going to be a little dirtier than your dog rolling around in the mud - if you don't think I'm serious, you might have to do a little digging around Shmoogle Search and find out - because we're going to go sneaking around a pit of vipers, and 'theory' about the evils of government spending with almost everyone's favorite Cryptocurrency... Bitcoin... You can't please that much Dogecoin...

Now, please, before you start throwing Dogecoin at me... you might want to think that Bitcoin is all about decentralization and sticking it to the big guys (not Joe this time, yeah maybe Joe too... definitely Joe). For a moment, you were right... but what if I told you that the guy was probably hoarding and fucking Bitcoin behind your back?
Conspiracy theory to me... while you're busy praying and praying for sweet, sweet profits, your friendly neighborhood government is secretly collecting Bitcoin like a script of lies it's pumping out to the mainstream media, or screaming like a clown in a circus. crazy people in big buildings... but why (?) you ask? It makes sense to reflect and start to see when you open the curtain... you see it because they are playing the ultimate game and throw away, and it could be a massacre, basically it is a massacre through OUR tax money... it's obviously bleeding, and bleeding a lot of money, but most don't realize the amount of Tax revenue - and Bitcoin... apparently... Well, they won't use their own salaries, those cowardly politicians now?

Think about this without a second thought - but with all the power and resources at their disposal, governments can easily manipulate the price of Bitcoin to their advantage. They can ramp it up to very high levels, causing FOMO among unsuspecting investors, only to pull out from under them and watch the price plummet faster than I could hope to understand quantum physics.
But wait, if you thought this couldn't get any worse... it got even crazier than Joe Biden's speech. When Bitcoin prices plummet, guess who will snap up all those cheap Bitcoins? You get it - it's the same government that orchestrates this entire scheme. It's like Robin Hood in reverse, stealing from the poor and giving to... well, themselves... and where is all that? I know we like privacy in the crypto world - you may have forgotten this, but politicians work for you, are authorized by you, and paid by you, to do a job for you - NOT the other way around.
Where do I want my taxes spent today? 100% I think there should there be a complete, crammed packed full and factual transparent report, alongside blockchain accounts and names... presented immediately to the public and those other dossers (lazy folk) sat twiddling their thumbs watching on... oops sorry the police need to be doing the job, incidentally, they are also paid to do by you and I - plus an independent legal investigation into these shady figures - and not filed in the 'make it hard to find' boxes under some large government building somewhere? It's probably with the huge UFO stash at UKs business registrations sham 'Companies House' disguised in order to look like a chicken!

So my Sherlocky sleuths... you might be wondering how we know all this 'top secret' info... Hmmmm you could just say a little birdie whispered in my ear and left a trail of breadcrumbs leading straight to the government vaults... via a source. And based on the latest intel from 2023 to 2024, and it seems for several years prior also - like certain Western governments are the main players in this blockbuster chain of political criminality within a very much hidden from view crypto charade... and with the permission of which people?

According to this almost 'top secret' data... that may, or may not have been leaked by a disgruntled accounts intern somewhere - the top five countries hoarding Bitcoin in 2024 are... (drum roll please) and probably unsurprisingly, the usual suspects - With that you should factor in the non-declarations of China and Russia, which together could be larger than the pots of the top three added together, which is probably not far off speculation.
The top five Bitcoin hoarding governments as a very hidden and not quite fully disclosed, are below... where are SEC now?  
1. United States: Approximately 150,000 BTC
2. United Kingdom: Around 75,000 BTC
3. Germany: Roughly 50,000 BTC
4. Canada: About 30,000 BTC
5. Australia: Close to 20,000 BTC
Now... I don't know about you, but those numbers seem suspiciously high for countries that claim to have spoken about having absolutely no interest in this whole Bitcoin thing. Maybe a touch hypocritical or criminally genius of those governments that have looked to hurt the growth of Cryptocurrency, via the likes of The US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) - It's like finding out your grandma has been secretly running an underground TikTok account with her geriatric friends - unexpected, not right, bonkers, and yet oddly intriguing.

But here's the kick in the snoodlies... all that Bitcoin sitting in government treasuries? Yeah, that's basically owned by you and me, the taxpayers. Because let's face it, where do you think governments get all the rest of their fancy toys and secret underground lairs from? That's right, our hard-earned tax bills... paid...
So, the real question to ask is, how much revenue do these governments earn from their fraudulent Bitcoin transactions? And more importantly, how much are we losing as taxpayers? It's a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes himself, or at least his less successful cousin Wensley Thursday, who dabbled in crypto conspiracies.

But hey Pipkins... don't just take my word for it. Do some digging yourself and see what you find. Who knows, you might find the biggest government scandal since last weekend - Or maybe you'll find a bunch of cat videos. Either way, it's worth a try, right? Happy hunting, fellow truth seekers.

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