What you need is a friend, not a mentor

19 Jun 2024

Having a buddy to keep you on track is a super easy and awesome way to stay motivated. When you're struggling to reach your goals, do you ever wish you could chat with a famous mentor? Imagine getting advice from someone like Jeff Bezos or Meg Whitman - that would be so cool, right?

But hold up.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that just because someone is successful, they have all the answers. We tend to believe that what successful people do reflects who they are. But that's not always the case.

Instead of searching for a magical solution from a famous person, focus on taking action on what you already know you need to do. We often get in our way thinking a mentor has all the answers.

So, forget about trying to follow in the footsteps of a famous leader. Find yourself a buddy who can help you stay accountable and watch how your life starts to change for the better.

You are already aware of what needs to be done

Finding a mentor can be tough. The good ones are usually super busy with their stuff, so they might not have time to help you out. And even if they did, their advice might not be all that great.

But guess what? You know yourself better than anyone else does. You know what you want in life better than anyone else does.

Sure, it's nice to have someone to talk to, but you don't need some famous person to listen to you. Warren Buffett, who's like a super-rich old guy, has probably already answered every question you could think of. You can just look him up on YouTube and find out what he has to say: save more money than you spend, invest for the long term, and don't freak out when the stock market goes crazy.

The buddy system

Making money, just like reaching your goals in school, with friends, in sports, or anything else you want, requires you to keep working at it. Most people struggle to save money consistently. They give up on exercising just a couple of months after making a New Year's resolution. They never finish writing that book they started. It's not that they don't know what to do; it's that they give up too easily. The main reason people fail is because they quit.

When I was younger, we were always told to stick with a buddy whenever we went on school trips. The idea was that we wouldn't get lost if we had a friend with us to make sure we stayed together. This is a good idea that we can still use as grown-ups to help us reach our goals in life.

We all need someone who can help us stay on track and keep us from giving up. Finding a buddy to hold you accountable is a simple, cheap, and effective way to keep going. Here's how you can make the buddy system work for you.

1) Select a method

When my wife and I decided to become parents, our friend Andrew, who has four kids, gave us some great advice. He told us to choose just one parenting book to follow. Instead of getting overwhelmed by all the different advice out there, he suggested sticking to one method.

Why? Because being consistent is super important when it comes to being a good parent. If my wife and I were constantly arguing about different parenting tips, we wouldn't be able to effectively follow any of them.

No matter what you're trying to achieve, it's best to start with a method you believe in. For example, if you want to get better at managing your money, check out Ramit Sethi's book, I Will Teach You to Be Rich. Want to get in shape? Steve Kamb has all the info you need at NerdFitness.com.

2) Choose a friend

Now that you know how you want to do things, it's time to find a buddy to help you out. You could ask a friend you already have, but sometimes it's fun to team up with someone new.

Since you've already figured out your plan, it won't be hard to find people who think like you and have the same goals. Just go where those people hang out. Steve has a cool group on his website all about getting fit. You can find Ramit's fans on Facebook. Or you can check out the comments on any author's Instagram posts to see if anyone wants to be your buddy.

3) Decide on a time

If you want to achieve a goal, like saving money or staying healthy, it's important to have a plan and stick to it. One way to do this is by finding a friend who can help keep you accountable. You can set up regular check-ins with your buddy to talk about the steps you're taking to reach your goal.

For example, if you're trying to be less distracted and more focused, you can review your schedule with your buddy each week to make sure you're staying on track. During your check-ins, you can share your successes and challenges, and learn from each other's experiences.

Teaching your buddy what you've learned is a great way to reinforce your knowledge and commitment to your goal. By choosing a plan, finding a buddy, and scheduling regular check-ins, you'll have everything you need to succeed. Don't wait for someone else to solve your problems - team up with a buddy and start working towards your goals today!

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