SimplyEto: The real estate listings (a DRiP story)
SimplyEto from DRiP
SimplyEto are one of the artists on DRiP that I'm subscribed to.
Check them out at on DRiP (above) and on their socials/website (below)
https://lightsaint.com/
https://www.instagram.com/simplyeto
https://twitter.com/itsSimplyEto
Their content inspired me to write a series of fictional real estate listing. Hope you enjoy!
SimplyEto: The real estate listings
Are you looking for a place to call home?
Do you have low standards and a high tolerance for pain?
Then look no further than this charming abode that will make you question your life choices.
This house features:
- A spacious living area with plenty of natural light and ventilation. And by that, we mean there are no windows or walls to keep out the elements. Enjoy the fresh air and the occasional bird or squirrel that might drop by for a visit.
- A cozy bedroom with a fluffy pink roof that will keep you warm and cozy. And by that, we mean there is no insulation or protection from the rain, snow, or hail. You'll feel like you're sleeping on a cloud, literally.
- A modern kitchen with all the amenities you need. And by that, we mean there is a smokestack that spews out toxic fumes and a sign that says "Burn Here." You'll never have to worry about cooking or cleaning again, because you'll probably die of carbon monoxide poisoning before you get a chance to use it.
- A sturdy foundation that will withstand any weather or disaster. And by that, we mean there are thin wooden beams that look like they're about to collapse at any moment. You'll never get bored, because you'll always be on edge, wondering if this is the day your house falls apart.
This house is a steal at only $1,000,000. Don't miss this opportunity to own a piece of history, or rather, a piece of garbage.
🌌 The Celestial Sphere: Your Cosmic Retreat
Location: A remote corner of the Andromeda Galaxy, nestled on the desolate moon of Zephyr-9.
Description: In the heart of the cosmic wilderness, where stardust swirls and nebulae whisper secrets, stands The Celestial Sphere—a home beyond imagination. Its iridescent blue shell, forged from meteoric alloys, reflects the constellations above. Raindrops patter on its surface, a celestial symphony.
Features:
- Quantum-Linked Windows: Gaze upon distant galaxies, watch supernovae bloom, and witness time dilation—all from the comfort of your living room.
- Anti-Gravity Atrium: Float amidst levitating ferns and phosphorescent orchids. The air hums with cosmic energies.
- Neural Interface: Merge consciousness with the house itself. Feel solar flares as tingling sensations, hear pulsars as harmonious melodies.
- Stellar Observatory: Ascend to the zenith chamber, where telescopic lenses pierce the veil of spacetime. Name your own exoplanets.
Price: A mere 100,000 cosmic credits (equivalent to 1.5 Earth bitcoins).
Inquiries: Contact Captain Lyra Nova at the Intergalactic Realty Guild. Warp coordinates: X-23, Y-42, Z-9.
Note: Time dilation may cause subjective experiences. Buyer assumes responsibility for alternate realities and parallel selves.
(your favourite tech reviewer reviews a house)
This is the Sky-High Tech Haven, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece of engineering and design. This house is literally hanging from the power lines, like a giant bird's nest. But don't worry, it's totally safe and legal.
I think.
Let's take a look inside, shall we? As you can see, this house is made of wood, but not just any wood. This is premium, hand-crafted, organic, gluten-free wood. It gives the house a cozy and rustic vibe, while also being eco-friendly and fire-resistant.
But the real magic happens when you look at the windows. These are not ordinary windows, my friends. These are smart windows, powered by artificial intelligence. They can automatically adjust the tint and opacity to suit your preferences and the weather conditions.
You can also control them with voice commands, like this:
"Hey, window, make it darker."
"OK, making it darker."
"Hey, window, make it lighter."
"OK, making it lighter."
"Hey, window, make it rainbow."
"Sorry, I can't do that."
"Hey, window, make it... OK, never mind."
Isn't that awesome?
You can enjoy the stunning views of the city without any glare or privacy issues. And speaking of views, check out the rooftop garden. This is where you can relax and unwind, surrounded by nature and fresh air.
The garden is equipped with automated watering and drone-delivered supplies, so you don't have to worry about anything. Just sit back and enjoy the scenery.
But wait, there's more.
This house is also integrated with the latest technology, thanks to the satellite dishes on the roof and the poles. These dishes allow you to access the internet from anywhere in the world, and stream your favourite shows and games in 4K resolution. You can also use them to communicate with other sky-high tech haven owners, and form a community of like-minded people.
So, what do you think?
Are you ready to move into the Sky-High Tech Haven?
If you are, you better act fast, because this house is not cheap. It costs a whopping $10 million, and that's not including the maintenance fees and the electricity bills.
But hey, you can't put a price on living in the future, right? 
Are you looking for a spacious and elegant home in a prime location?
Look no further than this stunning Victorian-style house in Aurora, US.
This house offers you the perfect blend of historical charm and modern comfort, with features such as:
- A large living room with a fireplace and hardwood floors
- A gourmet kitchen with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances - A master bedroom with a walk-in closet and a balcony
- A finished basement with a wet bar and a game room
- A landscaped backyard with a patio and a fountain
This house is located in a quiet and friendly neighbourhood, close to schools, parks, and shops. You will love living in this beautiful and historic town, with easy access to the city and the mountains. Don't miss this opportunity to own your dream home. Contact us today to schedule a viewing.
Are you looking for a magical home in the heart of Scotland? Look no further than this charming stone house at the corner of...well, you'll find out soon enough.
This house is perfect for any wizard who loves surprises and adventure. It features:
Spacious rooms with fireplaces, windows, and balconies. You'll never get bored exploring the different nooks and crannies of this house. Each room has its own personality and secrets to discover.
A tower that offers a stunning view of the Scottish landscape. Whether you prefer the moors or the highlands, you'll find something to inspire you. The tower is also ideal for practicing your spells under the stars.
A garden that is full of enchantment and beauty. You'll find roses, lilies, and other flowers that change with the seasons. Some of them may even talk to you if you listen closely.
A convenient location near a road intersection. You'll have easy access to the nearby towns and villages, where you can mingle with the locals and buy your magical supplies. You'll also be close to some of the most famous landmarks of Scottish history and culture.
Don't miss this opportunity to own a piece of magic in Scotland. This house is waiting for you to make it your home.
Contact me today to arrange a viewing. But hurry, this house won't stay on the market for long. I think.
The end?
Do you collect on DRiP?
If so let me know in the comments who are your favourite artists and why you like them!
And if you're not familiar with DRiP check out my BULB post about the platform (and why I think it's one of the most important projects in crypto right now).
https://www.bulbapp.io/p/9b62fc37-1cdd-4fd0-9850-a6ed7f1aa27a/investingdegen-ing-in-art-with-drip?s_id=c59ff725-b5a0-405b-a4ef-d2eb337d174f
