The Paddock Club-I

Singapore Grand Prix, Oct 2, 2022.

Today's the race already. I could see the excitement already when I was in the hotel lobby. I heard how excited they would see their favorite driver, Lewis Hamilton, Charles Leclerc, Max Verstappen, Carlos Sainz, or practically anyone else. I stayed at the hotel until a few hours before the race; I slept well last night and went to the spa again in the morning. The race was planned for eight at night, but with the weather and thunderstorm pouring throughout the city - it taps to the pavements heavily, and there is no sign that it will end soon.

I didn't go to their qualification day or any day before the race because I felt like anyone would find me there. This is a big event, and I've known them as someone
who always comes to the races. But this time, I would rather stay at the hotel, get pampered, and avoid unnecessary gossip. This is my first time going to such public events after I skipped it for a few years, and anyone would find out either way, so I want to look good.

When my car was in front of the hotel lobby, the rain continued to fall, even when it wasn't as intense as before. It slowly faded, but with the road that was still slippery, I doubted that the race was still going to be on time. Just when I reached Marina Bay Sands, I was notified that it would get delayed, and the 61 laps race would start at nine at night.

I walked over to the floor above the pit garage facing the main starting and starting grid, and some people were already in there, eating the
foods that Formula One prepared.

I had never watched the race by myself before, it was either with my brother, Alex, or it used to be with Gabriel and Daniel. The Grand Prix has been our annual thing to do, Singapore, Monaco, Bahrain, or any other countries we visited during the racing week. Gabriel and Daniel wasn't a fan of theirs, and one day I surprised them with tickets, and since then, we were always going together.

When Gabriel couldn't come, Daniel was the one who went with me. He stayed with me when Gabriel couldn't, I am not saying Gab was a bad boyfriend, but sometimes I wished he was more present when we were together. Occasionally, he tended to get distracted by I don't know what. He never told me about that, and whenever I asked, he never told me why.
Je suis désolé bébé, je ne t'ai pas écouté. And his attention was entirely on mine for the next couple of hours. That's how it went between Gab and me just a few months before we broke up.

I stand near the glasses windows where you can easily see the start- ing grid, taking a few pictures of my brother and my friends who weren't able to come - my friends and I scheduled so many times to see the Grand Prix together, but we weren't meant to be watching together, I think. Either I got plans, or they got other things to do. So we never really went to any Formula One event together, but we did go to Nice or any other French Rivera cities when the holiday came.

The car was already lined up at the starting grid, and I could feel the tension as everyone heard the
engines roaring. People's eyes were fixated on each of the cars, and they were hoping that their favorite team would be able to lead the race. The driver was wearing a hand-painted helmet with head and neck support to prevent in case an accident happens, with a multilayered suit.

Ten red lights, and they are off to go. The race started, and my heart started feeling the thrill just by watching how each car was trying to beat, wondering who would win first place today. I don't have a team that I want them to win - I like watching for the thrill, as I always want to try to drive those cars, but my parents and my brother always said that they don't want me to get any injuries. I don't know what went inside my head at that time, I was never that brave anyway, but I would like to try one day, even if I
would like to try one day, even if I have to convince myself that I can do that.

Just when it was a few laps before P

the racer reached the finish line, my phone that was in my bag kept buzzing. I went for it and took it out and saw the name that popped out on my notification. It's been years since we met, and I didn't expect it to pop on my notification today.

Shit.