Grief

"you lost him honey, he's dead" it rang in her head that night, the night after, and many nights to come. She could still hear it now. 

Prior to this she was a bubbly, happy-go-lucky person 
She still kept the facade, but spiraled down into depression, drowning in her own thoughts, silently screaming and no one seemed to notice

Did she ever tell someone? She tried
She still talked to him when she could, saw him when she could, but only when she slept... Gradually she withdrew from the world 

One day she figured, she might be okay, or tell someone, but for now she was okay with self-destruct.”

There is no linear way to grieve, I wrote this piece when I was grieving and this is exactly how I felt, I picked up self destructive habits that helped me cope. I’m still struggling to let go of some. I no more feel like I’m drowning in grief but I still get my low days.

Don’t let anyone school you on the duration of grief, how to grief and when to. Everyone is different.