McRib Mania: The Day the Crypto Menu Changed Forever

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12 Jan 2024

The day the McRib launched into and changed the crypto space forever.

This is a parody article for a writing contest. $RIB has little utility, little value and should not be treated as a legitimate investment. People should DYOR before buying, but personally, we couldn’t help writing about the day the McRib became king. If you’d like to put forward an entry of your own to win some $RIB, find details at this link

It was the heart of the cryptoverse. The old faithful, Bitcoin, once reigned supreme, but a seismic shift was about to get underway. And would you believe, it all started and finished with the aroma of BBQ sauce.

The day started like any other in the crypto community. Bitcoin enthusiasts were checking their wallets, traders were monitoring market trends, and blockchain developers were lost in lines of code. The old favorites, $ETH and $BTC were at the top of the stack where they always were and there wasn’t much more to report on this lazy day. But somewhere, a flame ignited, the griddle got hot and pork sandwiches were ready to sizzle.

The king had a new contender

You see not many people know this, but it all began when an enigmatic figure known as “McSatoshi” unveiled the McRib Coin. This token, which was backed by the savory goodness of the iconic McRib sandwich was a slow mover at the start but like sizzling bacon, pork on the griddle has a way of attracting all the right types of attention.

The crypto world, full of skeptics and initially skeptical, soon found itself swept up in McRib mania. The McRib Coin whitepaper, complete with illustrations of golden arches interwoven with blockchain diagrams, went viral. Rampant hunger raged. People were unable to fight the cravings of the sandwich and went all in. You can’t HODL hunger.

Mystery meat.

Within hours, McRib mining farms sprouted like mushrooms, replacing the energy-consuming rigs of traditional cryptocurrencies with grills sizzling McRibs to perfection. Crypto exchanges struggled to keep up with the demand for McRib Coin, and the value skyrocketed faster than you could say “special sauce.” The most crazy thing that happened though, was a slew of HODL’ers began to offload their Bitcoin bags, desperate to jump on the pork train before they were left behind. The price effect on $BTC was immediate, as we can see from the chart below. Just look at that dip!

That dip though.

However it wasn’t all good news though. Some of the more serious crypto folk were not impressed with the new pig on the block and refused to engage with the apparent deadbeat of the crypto world. “You can’t just turn up once a year and expect everyone to jump all over you” said BTCPURIST. “That’s not how things work in the crypto space”.

It may not have been how it worked in the crypto space before, but the McRib was the new game in town. So it was for sure, the way the crypto space was working now.

For everyone else though, the McRib became the de facto symbol of wealth. Crypto Enthusiasts found themselves HODLing $RIB tokens while also holding McRibs in hand. Traders gathered at digital drive-thrus, where McRib Coin transactions were paired with actual McRib deliveries. Wallet addresses were replaced with McRib order numbers, and blockchain confirmations were signified by the satisfying beep of a fast-food receipt printer.

At the peak of the excitement, it was harder to figure out which was generating more heat. Was it the griddle with the mcrib? Or the receipt printer going brrrrr. Some say it’s still going brrr to this day!

Regardless of the hype, the day McRib overtook Bitcoin saw a crypto revolution like no other. Purist’s clung to their Satoshis, but a new generation of McHODLers emerged, proudly displaying their McRib Coin wallets and asserting that barbecue sauce was the only true store of value. Even a certain red headed clown ended up with a few bags of $Rib!

Ronald Mcdonald’s cousin Ronald McHodl was later found to have stacked large bags of $RIB before the price flip.

It was now, a new era and a brave new world. In this McRib driven economy, crypto influencers pivoted to McRib mukbangs, and blockchain conferences served McRib platters alongside keynote speeches.

Meanwhile, the McSatoshi identity remained a mystery, hidden behind a mask made of McRib wrappers. Will we ever find the mysterious McSatoshi, or is he destined to live in the shadows forever? Time will tell, but for the moment his identity remains secure.

And so out of nowhere, the cryptoverse found itself caught in a whirlwind of tangy sauce and blockchain innovation, forever changed by the unexpected dominance of the McRib Coin. As the sun set on that saucy day, crypto enthusiasts worldwide raised their McRibs in a toast to the glorious fusion of fast food and finance.

The McRib had taken its place as the reigning king of the crypto menu, leaving Bitcoin enthusiasts to contemplate a future where every blockchain was now built on a foundation of barbecue bliss.

Did you enjoy this story? This parody was created to enter the latest writing contest on Bulbapp. If you enjoyed it, why don’t you do a story and enter the contest as well.

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