Fillip

Who knows what humiliations, tortures, and horrors we endured in this place before memory? 
Our personality developed without our knowledge. 
In my instance, I had anxiety, fear, and jitters as a child. 
This fear seems to have existed before I did, existing independently of me. 
But I think it may have started with my father, who I always felt unsafe with.
He may have just been the catalyst. 

Prostitute 
Strumpet 
Whore
Drab
How many times had I heard these
How many times did I distance myself  from
these hurtful words
But there I was, a proverbial virgin,
untainted
as pure as a dove 
In a fit of anger I gave it all away
Instead of my body for money
My brains for gains
Silent tears, a broken heart
Few wins, many losses
Fake smiles, hidden throes
Silent battles, putting on a facade 
One thing is certain do not envy the life of
another.