An apology to me

17 Mar 2023

This is addressed to the person I made an effort to catch the attention of, the person I trusted and the one who lied to me.
who gave me the impression that I was alone,
The person who left once the sexual activity was through, the one who left me feeling as though I was unlovable,
The person who called me over when he was just looking to fight and who made it apparent that I wasn't the female he was looking for.
I apologize because I tried and I didn't succeed.

This is for the person who gave birth to me and gave me life.
The person who grumbles and treats me like I'm the worst thing ever,
The one who emotionally abuses me,
The person who is meant to help me stand up,
The one who should only bring smiles and laughter to my face instead brings everything that goes against that
The person who consistently assesses me against others,
Whoever makes it so challenging to love her,
I'm not the daughter mother intended me to be, she claims.
I'm sorry, I do recognize that.

This is addressed to the sick man who sneaked into my room and gave me the idea to terminate my life shortly.
the person who falsely claimed I was mentally ill,
Whoever denied sneaking into my bed,
The person who will always scar me,
The person who is to blame for my nightly cries in silence, the one who claims I've changed his life because I've strained his relationship with his wife, and the person who advised me to be quiet and leave things alone.
He is correct; nothing fruitful resulted from it, therefore let me apologize.

The people who went because they claimed I had changed, the ones who shunned me during my time of need, and the ones who gave me more causes for grieving are my friends.
I'm sorry for that; I realize I'm not the same girl I once was.

To the young woman who has low self-esteem,
The girl who sobs so bitterly, the one who smiles artificially,
the person who hasn't felt joyful in a while,
The one who was robbed of her innocence and self-worth; the one who is scared to let anyone in; the one who has missed countless opportunities at love because she finds it difficult to trust people.
This is addressed to the girl I'm ashamed to be.
I'd like to apologize to you.

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