The willow that wept

3 Jan 2023

Every night I find myself leaning up against the tree, cursing myself, locking my heart, and tossing the key away. I wait there, simply hoping that someone would care.
I'm aware that no one has ever come and will never come.
I'm in a chair beside the weeping willow.
Its foliage and cover serve as my comforting pillow.
Indeed, the tears I shed are merely fuel for my erratic dreams.
However, nothing in my existence is what it seems.

I am not aware of when it all started.
I lacked pals and shared no love.
My happy days were long forgotten, and my heart broke to its core.
My only wish in life is to pass away.
I'm done with having to cry and be in pain.
My parents, relatives, and classmates simply constructed it.
They see me as a mistake that needs to be fixed.
They smile as they give me the chair and the rope.
For a while, they pretend not to care.
Then they close the door and sit by the bay, repeating their catchphrase, "Whatever happens, happens."
They look to God for forgiveness because of the disappointment on their faces whenever I am alive.

Father in heaven, why must I endure this pain any longer?
Why did you make it difficult for me to collect my tears?
What did I do to deserve this? How have I let you down, and what should I do now?
What else can I do to earn your favor?
Put an end to this; make it cease.
Give me a friend or just some love.
Put an end to this nightmare once, even for a second.
Please quit making everything your enemy!
I pretend to cry every day and every night.
My words have the power to uplift people.
Why am I unable to simply relax and enjoy myself?

No, you don't care, just like the others, my crush and my beloved ex-lovers, as well as my mother, father, and his brothers.
You're just playing me while laughing above me.
I'll never get better, I'm certain of it.
I have no one to love or a place to go to paradise.
Maybe I'll die soon and then I can rest."
Put our fingers together and wish for the best.
Well, going to hell on your own is a lengthy journey.
No one is interested in picking up the phone, even if my life isn't much worse.
Maybe I'll do nothing but sit here with my weeping willow as the world fills with hate.

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