Strain

Does time exist under the ocean?
Maybe I might drown in my pain and come back a new me?
I can feel the thumping of my heartbeat
my sorrow threatening to erupt
and seemingly metaphorical, a volcano.

I think back to the first night I experienced true pain, the way my brain is wired it does not necessarily act on the pain in that instance
Thought suppression, that’s what keeps me going

A sneak peek into the pain left me high
almost lost my mind
holding it in because I’m locking every breath for you
lost sight of what was truly in front of me because I’m dwelling on the past

Maybe I should have a drink or ten?
Naa I keep lying to myself, I mean who am I kidding?
learnt how to push it at the back of my mind and cover the lid.
Its bubbling over but I won’t dare open it.